Rainy day.

so it has been long time since I wrote any posts here.

I guess no one's visiting though.

but this is actually for writing my thinking.

heavy rain today.

It made me to think of the day that I fell from the bus and get my pelvis hurt.

still recovering by the way, it's way better now.

I didn't go to the clinic for two days something but it's good.

It's okay now. very good.

Rainy day is good.

It's better to listen to musics on rainy days than just normal days.

everyone will agree with this.

I have to walk down the hill and stairs to go to my mom's office 

and that hill is terribly scared as hell.

and it was raining cats and dogs also !

I just forgave about getting wet and I walked really, really carefully

and keep convince myself that I'm careful enough so don't worry.

it might be funny for someone but it was really serious for me 

sigh.

Again.

Using computer as usual every Saturday.

Life became just like few months ago again.

I didn't know that not going to the library will make my life totally useless and wasting.

Going to the library don't really make so successful either but yeah.

I was very positive few weeks ago

but these days became so stressful and quite negative again.

 Three sickness in my head, mouth and pelvis really giving me lots of stress and disturbing me very well and I'm going insane.

Today it became better.

and friendship? I really hope I won't believe it.

Everyone is the same.

They all knows how to say, but not doing it.

that's what people is.

A very depressing post.

I've always think of best friend.
And what I realize is that everybody changed their best friends every year according to their classes or school.

I always worry about,
I consider someone as my bestfriend but that person doesn't do the same.
Like, he/she got many many best friend and I'm just one of them.

Contacting first is nervous, scared and sick of it.
I'm, I was always the bright, friendly one but this is happening to me.

Will someone ever say my name first whenever someone ask them who's their best friend?

Tired of this thing.

Unhealthy

I've been staying in unhealthy condition for more than two weeks.
It's all about my pelvis, obviously but I feel dizzy quite often too.
Dizziness or vertigo? I don't know I guess it's the same.

I'm not a really slim or thin person.
Just average but I'm quite unhealthy from the past.
Luckily I don't get cold so often like when I was in primary school but it's still so unhealthy.
The reasons are quite obvious,
I don't really eat lots of vegetables or fruits, and I don't exercise.
I actually want to exercise,
like jogging or whatever but my pelvis really doesn't help me.
And my mom even don't let me to go exercise, she wants me to be careful for my pelvis.

I'm going to the clinic later.
I really hope I don't need any injection this time.
I can stand the pain of it but I'm too sensitive for that.
But pelvis injection is still better than the spine injection...

Sick of feeling sorry to my mom for spending too much money on my pelvis.

Unlucky day

I come to mom's work place every Saturday.
But the internet is not available today.
After 30 mintues of observation, I found there's something wrong with the internet connection cable so I couldn't do anything.
I'm now sitting beside my mom and writing this post.

My pelvis is terribly sick today.
I did massaged there using the thai herb massage cream but it was useless.
I seriously don't know why I never get okay for more than a couple of month.
And ridiculously, this left pelvis was not the first injured side but it's terribly sick now. I don't know why.
Even the doctor doesn't tell me the exact reason clearly. Just giving me injection and ask me to go for the theraphy.
My mom seems so done with me talking about this sick.

I was so mad on the street, keep feeling the pain from my left pelvis.
And I'm quite mad untill now.
Every single time. Fucking annoying.
Always wake up with uncomfortable feeling from the pelvis side.
So I always try really hard not to lay down on one side but *sigh*
Sit down, pain. Walk, pain.
Terrible day.

Dizzy

It has been 2 weeks since I didn't go to the library.
It's because of my pelvis, my mom just suggest me not to and sit for so long time to study.
But I'm actually sitting down and study even thought I'm at home.
Other positions like lying down will makes me feel sleepy..

But I lied down since my left pelvis feels little bit pain.
Is it right to say pain? But ya. It's uncomfortable.
This is quite stressful because I went to the clinic for more than a two years (but I had lots of breaks).
The pain become less when I go to the clinic and have a theraphy but after few weeks, I feel the pain again.
The doctor doesn't know the exact reason why.
and the doctor is quite unfriendly so even this makes me stressful.
I think I have to take the injection if I go to the clinic again this time.
I'm very sensitive so whenever the doctor's about to inject, I felt it and move. Ohhh
I wonder how long I have to feel this pain. I want to exercise and walk comfortably without thinking of my pelvis.

The graduation exam date has announced today. Only like two months left for the exam and it makes me very nervous all the time but still not studying hard.
have to put this phone away :(

No wonder why I my eyes start to feel so tired.